Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
