he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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