I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
wow bdsm is so cute
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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