Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
