Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
my mouth tastes like poor choices
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
