so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize