She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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