Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
