I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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