I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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