Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I understand Curling. That high.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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