I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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