Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
