By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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