I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Little spoons don't ask big questions
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Randomize
