Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize