Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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