i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
