I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Enjoy the penises
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize