Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
