I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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