I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
