i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
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