on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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