Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
