she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
