**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Randomize
