I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
did you just send me my own nude
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
