So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
