Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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