What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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