There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm at about main and main street
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
