oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
