im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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