two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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