he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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