we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
