this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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