Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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