The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
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