Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
