i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
