If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
