I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
