I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
