so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
