im having a threesome with these popsicles
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
We are all done wearing pants today
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
