Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
