I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
