You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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