Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
