Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
So. Much. Porn.
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