You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
