Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
