Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
