There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
