She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
