For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
