In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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