i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
