Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
